How to Cope with Life’s Disappointment

Bonjour mes amies! As much as I (now) adore social media, I will be the first to admit that social media makes difficult situations more difficult. Par example, disappointment. Disappointment is a part of life, but when so much of our lives are spent on social media, where everything and everyone is perfect, and no one seems to experience disappointment, this extremely normal facet of life seems abnormal.

Of course I checked in avec mes amies via my stories to inquire if they are where that thought they would be this time last year.

Imagine how difficult disappointment is in your life; now multiply that by 100,000 people. Because I don’t believe in “moving in silence” (click here to read why), I share my highs and lows, embarrassment, achievement, and disappointment. This post is by no means a “woe is me” because, all things considered, I have an amazing life.

I wrote this post to share how I deal with disappointment when things don’t go as planned.

Without further adieu, voilà:

1. Acknowledge my feelings: Allowing myself to feel disappointed and acknowledge my emotions seems so easy, but it is not. I’ve had to remind myself that it’s normal to feel let down or frustrated when things don’t turn out as expected. I’ve now given myself permission to experience those emotions without judgment.

2. Gain perspective: I take a step back and try to gain perspective on the situation. Asking myself if the outcome will matter in the long run or if it’s just a temporary setback typically puts things into perspective pour moi. It sounds cliche, but often, disappointments have provided me avec beaucoup opportunities for growth and learning.

3. Reflect on the experience: Directly related to number deux, I’ve begun to use disappointment as an opportunity for self-reflection. After an allotted time of feeling down, I ask myself, “What have I learned from this experience/disappointment, and how can it help me in the future?” Reflecting on my expectations and whether they were realistic in the time frame that I allotted is also a must.

4. Practice self-compassion: This is by far the most difficult pour moi. Being kind and compassionate to myself. Self-blame and dwelling on negative thoughts have turned into my favorite pastime (click here to read how I was supposed to start extending myself grace.) Treating myself avec the same understanding and support that I would offer to a friend facing a similar situation is my continued goal.

5. Adjusting goals and plans: I didn’t want to hear/feel this, but sometimes, a change in direction or a new approach is necessary. If you’re anything like moi, when we have a plan, it must be accomplished. I have had to learn on and offline that reaching some goals that I may have set (realistically or unrealistically) isn’t worth my mental health. Planning properly and accepting that some things are outside of my control has provided a peace that I could have never imagined.

7. Focus on the positive: Shifting my attention to the positive aspects of my life, has been everything. My life is FAR from perfect (I recently lost ma mère, my son is still on the bone marrow transplant list, and my toddler keeps scuffing my heels playing dress-up), but mes amies, it is good! I am in Paris (click here to watch Parisian vlogs) just as much as I am in the States; I have the flexibility to explore my passions and change my mind.

Practicing gratitude for what I have and reminding myself of past accomplishments and the beaucoup instances when things did go well. Cultivating a positive mindset helps me maintain resilience in the face of disappointment.

8. Take action: After allowing myself time to grieve, I take action. Identifying steps I can take to move forward, whether it’s trying again, seeking alternative solutions, or pursuing new opportunities, aids me with my feelings of helplessness. Doing something helps me regain a sense of control and momentum.

S’il vous plaît mes amies, remember, disappointment is a natural part of life, and everyone faces setbacks at some point (whether they share/admit it or not.) By adopting a proactive mindset and embracing these strategies, navigating disappointment more effectively and using it as a catalyst for personal growth and resilience can become second nature.

Ciao for now 💋