Why We Should Give More Compliments

Bonjour mes amies! “I have never met a stranger” is a saying that has applied to me since I was a little girl. Wherever I am, I will always make an acquaintance. My “people personality” has led me to such amazing experiences. Moving to Istanbul, having tea avec an Egyptian merchants family while visiting Cairo, dining avec a Senator’s wife after a brief chat at a coffee shop, and beaucoup more.

Some of these interactions happened organically, but many started avec a compliment.

As many compliments as I give, I have shared avec mes amies that learning to relieve them is still a challenge pour moi (click here to read how I am actively learning to accept compliments.) You would be so surprised at just how far taking a moment to tell someone, including a “stranger,” how much you like _______ can go.

I will never forget being on the train the day after ma mere‘s service. I was (still) an emotional wreck, but in true Jessie fashion, I didn’t look like what I was going through. Sitting in silence, staring out of the window, a woman who appeared to have been around the same age as ma mere, stopped at my seat and said, “That is a bad coat” (her use of “bad” as good confirmed that she was ma mere‘s age.)

Not only did she give me a compliment, she also gave me confirmation.

Not only did this woman give me a compliment, but she also gave me confirmation. Her compliment confirmed that ma mere’s spirit would always be around to comfort me, especially during my darkest days.

“You sound just like my mother,” I grinned while shaking my head.

Without further ado, here are a few reasons why you should start giving more compliments:

1. Boosts self-esteem: Compliments have the power to uplift and validate others. Not that we should rely on the compliments or validation of others, but a well-timed and genuine compliment can make a difference in someone’s day. We never know what people are going through.

2. Strengthens relationships: Compliments are a simple yet effective way to strengthen relationships. By expressing admiration, appreciation, or recognition, you can single-handedly create a positive and supportive atmosphere. Compliments help to foster friendship, build trust, and deepen connections with others.

3. Spreads positivity: Compliments are contagious. When you give someone a compliment, it often inspires them to pass on the positivity and uplift others in return. By creating a culture of appreciation and kindness, you are contributing to a more positive and balanced environment.

4. Enhances motivation and productivity: It’s human nature to see what’s wrong, but the impact that compliments have on motivation and productivity is real. Recognizing someone’s achievements or efforts through a compliment can provide a sense of assurance, thus encouraging them to continue to perform well. It can also create a positive work or learning environment that heightens growth and success. Tell your spouse that you recognize their value (“merci beaucoup” me later.)

5. Improves communication: Compliments serve as a powerful tool for effective communication. By highlighting the positive aspects of someone’s actions or qualities, you’re creating a bridge of understanding and encouraging open dialogue. Compliments, especially avec strangers, can help to break the ice and increase communication overall.

6. Promotes well-being: Receiving compliments triggers the release of feel-good hormones (dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin), which contribute to a sense of happiness and well-being. Think about the feeling you have after someone compliments you on your smile, your presentation, or for being an overall great person. By giving compliments, you contribute to the emotional well-being of others, and I can’t speak for anyone else, but seeing a frantic mom smile when I tell her she’s doing an amazing job, fills me avec delight.

Compliments should be genuine. Never feel the need to “return a compliment” just because. I’m certain we all have experienced the “Oh, umm, your…ear lobes are really clean.”

Sincere compliments can be felt.

Mes amies, join me in making it a habit to notice and appreciate the positive aspects of others and spread joy because it doesn’t cost a thing.

Do you compliment others?

Ciao for now 💋