ENVY or JEALOUSY | Can Either Be Healthy?

Bonjour mes amies! I must lead avec I have absolutely zero desire to debate this subject. I am merely sharing how I have used this extremely human emotion for good.

Allons-y, let’s get the to the blog.

This may be a tres, tres unpopular opinion. Still, I’m here to say that jealousy and envy (I’ll use the two interchangeably although they are not, I believe many people confuse them) are extremely human emotions. I’d also like to add that said emotions can be derived from a place of aspiration.

At some point in our lives, we have all been envious of someone. Perhaps, it was a friend getting engaged before you, getting a promotion that you wanted, or passing an exam that you failed.

You can still be happy for someone and feel envy.

I can recall the countless times that I have been envious of a dear friend that I loved. Did me feeling said emotions keep me from singing their praises, helping them along the way, or doing whatever I could to be whatever they needed me to be? Absolutely not.

Contrary to how I was raised, I believe that envy is rooted in a place of aspiration.

Before clutching your pearls, hear me out.

If you saw someone avec un screaming bebe, spilling their cappuccino on their dress while panicking because they can’t find their spare house key (clearly, this is a scene of my morning), would you feel envious?

Now if you saw that same woman with a nanny in tow, a well-behaved dotting child being escorted to the private jet terminal while you were stuck in TSA with a screaming child who had knocked over your personal item, would you feel any sense of envy, discontentment, etc.? You don’t have to answer that questions aloud. You perhaps are the person being escorted to the private jet terminal, my point being we only feel envious/uncomfortable when we see something that we want.

I have never felt a sense of envy regarding someone getting a new car because I have zero interest or aspiration of owning a luxury vehicle.

Now, when I see my dear friend toting one of her many Birkins, I politely play dress up while envying and taking notes on how she’s secured so many (je t’aime Cynda.) That’s because I want that.

I am a firm believer that envy has the ability to awaken a desire that you never knew existed.

Contrary to the life I am living now (extremely social media based), I was significantly late to the social media party. When I finally created an Instagram, my page was private, and I never really posted; I can honestly say I did not like social media. My dear friends often chuckle at my complete 180 regarding social media now.

Back to my point.

When I finally decided to get on social media, I began to see people with what I perceived as having less experience and interest making a living doing whatever it is that they loved. I found myself feeling “uncomfortable,” i.e., envious of these accounts (I decided to say accounts because I didn’t know these people, so what I actually envied was what they presented to the world.)

That uncomfortable/envious feeling that I felt awakened a passion that I didn’t know existed.

I wanted to share my life and passion publicly and make a living doing so.

I firmly believe that envy only becomes harmful when you begin to wish ill will.

Me feeling envious because of what someone else was doing as a career and wanting to turn my life (which I have already been living) into a career was aspirational. Had I decided not to pursue this venture and sat around sending awful energy (or messages) to those who were “making it happen,” that’s when jealousy/envy are not becoming.

I want the absolute best for everyone. I believe in abundance (click here to read my abundance blog.) I believe that there is enough for us all.

Versus trying to combat extremely human emotions, dig deeper and uncover what about this situation makes you jealous/envious, and decide are you willing to do the work to have whatever it is that you want.

Merci beaucoup for your endless love and support, mes amies! I do hope that this post makes you feel and assures you that you are not alone.

Ciao for now 💋


  1. Anonymous

    😘🤗Thank you for this. I dont think I’ve ever been able to verbalize it this way; but that is exactly why I stayed in school had 1 kid at a time (19 years apart, lol) and stayed out the way and gainfully employed. I DID NOT envy the life I grew up with and was jealous of many of my friends around. so I made sure never to be in that struggle.

    • You are never alone! It’s a very uncomfortable conversation to have and sometimes we shame ourselves for feeling as such. But we’re human. I believe we can use those feelings for good! One-million congrats to you for creating the life you deserve!

  2. Erica

    I love the way you’ve framed it. These are emotions and how we manage them and let them manifest is what matters. I was recently listening to an episode of Closet Confessions with Candice Braithewaite (sp) and she had a similar attitude around jealousy. She admitted that she gets jealous of people when they are doing something she knows she is capable of or wants to do herself and that it pushes her. Too often we fester in our feelings of jealously & envy vs using them for good, to inspire ourselves.

  3. Product_snob

    Well said seour ❤️ I am a believer also in there is enough for EVERYONE so go get it ladies.. no need to be bitter be Better hugs to all the Mes Amies who are/were inspired by this blog 🌸🙏

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