FOMO : The Fear of Missing Out…Because of What?

Bonjour mes amies! FOMO is REAL. While this term is mainly associated avec social media #hashtags, the concept predates Wi-Fi (for my Gen Zers.)

FOMO typically resonates when scrolling and a photo (or video) of a group of friends or loved ones are out celebrating, beachside/poolside (vintage mes amies know this would NEVER evoke FOMO avec moi), shopping on Rue Cambon, or even eating a delicious meal while you’re awaiting your Top Ramen (shrimp flavor of course) water to boil.

I’ve experienced FOMO more than I would like to admit, and as much as positivity gurus will profess “you are where you are meant to be,” it doesn’t take away trés, trés natural feelings of hurt, sadness, or jealousy.

Trigger warning, s’il vous plait, stop reading here if you have recently lost a loved one or are mourning a physical or emotional loss.

As I type these words, I am experiencing FOMO at a much deeper level.

“Fashion Month” is upon us. New York, London, Milan, and Paris. If you’re subscribed to any fashion vlogs or follow anyone remotely interested in fashion, you will see that their page is filled avec “Fashion Month” preparation or trend forecasting.

A quick glimpse at my content creating/travel calendar or my latest travel prep vlog (click here to watch) would confirm that I, too, would have been publishing “Get Ready for Fashion Month avec Moi” post. In fact, one week ago, as I was packed up, avec new luggage in tow, en route to the airport to luxuriate in the lounge before boarding my business class flight, to land at an international destination for pre-Fashion Week coverage, I received a call regarding ma mere.

As I compose this blog, I am sitting across from a shell of who was once ma mere as she takes numbered breaths.

To distract myself from this incredibly heart-wrenching experience, I do what most millennials do to pass the time. I scroll online.

But this time, FOMO isn’t a fear, it’s a fact.

The fact is, while my counterparts (fellow fashion vloggers and bloggers) are experiencing one of the most magical moments of the year, my life will never be the same.

Before you say, “it’s just Fashion Week, it will always be there, be present avec ma mère” dig un petit deeper avec your thoughts.

The fear/pain of missing out that I’m experiencing has nothing to do avec the vanity of being at fashion shows, drinking champagne until it’s time to drink cappuccinos, or catching the eye of a street-style photographer.

My fear is the reality of why I’m missing out.

Jessie

I’m not gallivanting around my favorite cities vlogging and doing all the things because ma mere is dying.

The FOMO/jealousy I’m feeling right now has nothing to do avec not being avec the in-crowd, the FOMO/jealousy I’m feeling is because I see everyone living a “normal” life, and nothing about my life is “normal” right now.

By no means do I want ANYONE to feel what I am feeling (although I know this is a natural part of life); it doesn’t make the hurt stop.

FOMO is so much more than missing out or being sad that you’re not “there.”

FOMO makes you face why you aren’t somewhere else.

Did you give up a high-paying career to focus on your marriage/family and now you’re divorced, etc.?

Did you leave school because you were pregnant, and now you see everyone graduating at the time you would have been?

Did you decide to have kids later in life, and now most of your friends have adult children and flexibility, but you have a toddler?

Are you a caretaker, and even the thought of thinking happy thoughts fill you with guilt?

I know that what I’m feeling now is momentary, just as those feelings that are evoked when we scroll and see others “living their best lives.”

Sadly, I have no cure for FOMO, besides, be gentle avec yourself. I’m presently doing my best to channel the 97% optimistic person that I am to believe that I am where I am meant to be mentally and emotionally.

Merci beaucoup mes amies for the overwhelming love and support that you all have shown across every platform.

Ciao for now 💋