FOMO : The Fear of Missing Out…Because of What?

Blogging Life, Lifestyle by cappuccinosandconsignment

Bonjour mes amies! FOMO is REAL. While this term is mainly associated avec social media #hashtags, the concept predates Wi-Fi (for my Gen Zers.)

FOMO typically resonates when scrolling and a photo (or video) of a group of friends or loved ones are out celebrating, beachside/poolside (vintage mes amies know this would NEVER evoke FOMO avec moi), shopping on Rue Cambon, or even eating a delicious meal while you’re awaiting your Top Ramen (shrimp flavor of course) water to boil.

I’ve experienced FOMO more than I would like to admit, and as much as positivity gurus will profess “you are where you are meant to be,” it doesn’t take away trés, trés natural feelings of hurt, sadness, or jealousy.

Trigger warning, s’il vous plait, stop reading here if you have recently lost a loved one or are mourning a physical or emotional loss.

As I type these words, I am experiencing FOMO at a much deeper level.

“Fashion Month” is upon us. New York, London, Milan, and Paris. If you’re subscribed to any fashion vlogs or follow anyone remotely interested in fashion, you will see that their page is filled avec “Fashion Month” preparation or trend forecasting.

Paris Fashion Week Sept 2022

A quick glimpse at my content creating/travel calendar or my latest travel prep vlog (click here to watch) would confirm that I, too, would have been publishing “Get Ready for Fashion Month avec Moi” post. In fact, one week ago, as I was packed up, avec new luggage in tow, en route to the airport to luxuriate in the lounge before boarding my business class flight, to land at an international destination for pre-Fashion Week coverage, I received a call regarding ma mere.

As I compose this blog, I am sitting across from a shell of who was once ma mere as she takes numbered breaths.

To distract myself from this incredibly heart-wrenching experience, I do what most millennials do to pass the time. I scroll online.

But this time, FOMO isn’t a fear, it’s a fact.

The fact is, while my counterparts (fellow fashion vloggers and bloggers) are experiencing one of the most magical moments of the year, my life will never be the same.

Before you say, “it’s just Fashion Week, it will always be there, be present avec ma mère” dig un petit deeper avec your thoughts.

The fear/pain of missing out that I’m experiencing has nothing to do avec the vanity of being at fashion shows, drinking champagne until it’s time to drink cappuccinos, or catching the eye of a street-style photographer.

My fear is the reality of why I’m missing out.

Jessie

I’m not gallivanting around my favorite cities vlogging and doing all the things because ma mere is dying.

The FOMO/jealousy I’m feeling right now has nothing to do avec not being avec the in-crowd, the FOMO/jealousy I’m feeling is because I see everyone living a “normal” life, and nothing about my life is “normal” right now.

By no means do I want ANYONE to feel what I am feeling (although I know this is a natural part of life); it doesn’t make the hurt stop.

FOMO is so much more than missing out or being sad that you’re not “there.”

FOMO makes you face why you aren’t somewhere else.

Did you give up a high-paying career to focus on your marriage/family and now you’re divorced, etc.?

Did you leave school because you were pregnant, and now you see everyone graduating at the time you would have been?

Did you decide to have kids later in life, and now most of your friends have adult children and flexibility, but you have a toddler?

Are you a caretaker, and even the thought of thinking happy thoughts fill you with guilt?

I know that what I’m feeling now is momentary, just as those feelings that are evoked when we scroll and see others “living their best lives.”

Sadly, I have no cure for FOMO, besides, be gentle avec yourself. I’m presently doing my best to channel the 97% optimistic person that I am to believe that I am where I am meant to be mentally and emotionally.

Merci beaucoup mes amies for the overwhelming love and support that you all have shown across every platform.

Ciao for now 💋

51 Comments

  1. Anonymous
    Reply

    Im so sorry. I had to do the same a little over ten years ago. Sending love and prayers your way.

  2. ElleXNC
    Reply

    Jessie, sending you hugs and lots of love. I overstand what you are going through…I was in the hospice room when my beloved father transitioned on 4/22/2018. This phase of life is not easy (it’s downright terrifying to me) but know we (your readers/listeners/watchers) are uplifting you and your family in prayer at this time. (((hugs)))

  4. Bernadette
    Reply

    Oh Sis…I’m right there with you. You’re not alone..Allow yourself to feel what you feel.. I’m lifting you and the entire family up in prayer…
    Love you sis in Christ.
    Bernadette
    Bald With Purpose💋

    1. Minette
      Reply

      So sorry to hear this, cannot imagine how you are feeling. Will keep praying for you all. ❤

  5. Anonymous
    Reply

    I put you and your mom (AKA Jessie’s mom) on the bible study’s prayer list. Just know that the saints of God are praying 🙏🏽.

    1. Bridget
      Reply

      Jessie, I lost my father 12/5/2021. His month-long illness was unexpected; however, the beauty of the COVID pandemic was that my company was remote at the time. I am so very thankful to have been able to devote that last month of his life to physically be present for both his last leg of life, as well as to support my mother. I am also thankful for his 87 years of life. The time spent is irreplaceable. Prayers to you and your mother during this journey. ♥️

  13. DTfrNYinDC
    Reply

    I am praying for you during this most difficult time. Tis true, you only get one mother, I am so happy you were able to share so many loving moments with her – even by manifesting that television gig last month. Be well, and remember to take care of YOUrself.

  14. Eb
    Reply

    I came from IG, I started following you for the fashion, but your words resonate with me. So when I saw the post about ton mere I understood. She watched you in some of the biggest stages to date of your life, broadcasted via every video, blog post, or IG reel. But now, you return the favor by seeing her off to her main event. Fashion week will mean so much more now, you will have a long time viewer seeing you at real time. This is a period of rest, but next fashion season, I’m sure she’d want nothing more for you to continue in your path with a vengeance. Condolences Jessie.

    1. cappuccinosandconsignment
      Reply

      The tears are streaming down my face reading your comment. I thank you so much. Heartbreak and all, I know that ma mere is avec moi every step of the way. I appreciate you so much for your kindness and support across every platform.

  16. Nubian Azzure
    Reply

    Greetings Queen, thank you for this post and as always the transparency. I am praying for you.

  17. Anonymous
    Reply

    I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers. This is one of the hardest things to go through in life. I did this in October of 2004. I pray God will carry you through this time.

  18. Kim
    Reply

    I sat in my mother’s room for 18 days last Christmas, waiting. I’m so sorry that you are experiencing this too. Love to you.

  20. Erin H
    Reply

    My heart is broken for you, as you navigate this most difficult of times. There is no road map and there is truly no advice that makes the pain lessen. I have found only that pausing in the experience, taking it all in, sitting with the emotion, then the way to move, and carry the emotion with grace, finds its way into my brain. Notice I simply said “move” not get through it or over it or past it. This point will never leave you. The only thing I can say for complete certainty, you will find the way to carry it, with grace. Its weight will find balance in your spirit. Sending you love my friend.

  21. Emanon
    Reply

    Seour while I can’t know how you are feeling I’m am here praying for you and the family and especially mom the god I serve is mighty powerful and most of all LOVING he will be with you always as you travel this road know that you are not alone IF U NEED ANYTHING IM HERE… 🤗🙏💖

  22. Tamara smith
    Reply

    Through my tears….sending love and prayers for strength beyond what is normal. May God be with you and your family throughout this ordeal….and joy will come in the morning.

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