Bonjour mes amies !
As a follow-up to my skincare routine, I want to continue the subject of self-care.
If no other impression is left behind from Cappuccinos & Consignment (besides my style, tee hee), let it be love.
Self-love is not selfish. It’s a necessity. You can’t properly love others if you don’t fully love yourself.
As with clothing, self-love isn’t one size fits all. What I consider an act of self-love maybe second nature to you.
I have an obsessive personality. I will spend days (months or years) obsessing about things or how someone said something to me. Others often consider this petty and trivial but pour moi; it can be debilitating.
“What did they mean when they said that?”
“Why did they say it like that?”
Those are monologues I’ve had repeatedly, and those obsessions would prevent me from making simple decisions about anything else.
My self-love expression is setting a timer as to how long I will allow myself to be obsessive about an event or person (that hasn’t caused actual harm.)
Once my timer sounds, I have to force myself to refocus my thoughts on something more light, wholesome and productive.
Is this the best strategy according to therapist or psychologist? I have no clue, but doing so has helped me.
Maybe you’re the “yes” person. People know that they can ALWAYS depend on you because you will inconvenience yourself to assist others.
In this case, not pausing your life to be a people pleaser is undoubtedly a form of self-love.
Self-love can be as “easy” (I use that word reluctantly because none of this is easy if you have difficulties setting boundaries) as not answering the phone solely to protect your mental and emotional state.
I’m certain we’ve all experienced those who I like to refer to as “emotional vampires.” People who figuratively suck your emotional bandwidth dry.
When they call, it’s never to check on your well-being; it’s all about how the world has been so unfair to them.
Admittedly, some people can’t seem to “catch a break” (oddly enough, those are the people who never really discuss their misfortunes with others.) I’m referring to those whose “bad luck” directly correlates to poor decisions they’ve made and continue to make. Rather than focusing on their self-inflicted hardships, they instead dump how awful the world is onto you.
After you pour everything you have into them and build them up, the conversation is over. Often times you won’t hear from them again until they’re on “empty.” That’s when they’ll call and drain you.
Ignore the call mes amies. Pour into yourself.
I think about all of the time and energy I’ve placed in the past explaining, manipulating, or begging, someone else to love and value me. Had I used that time as I do now, loving myself, I wouldn’t need a therapist.
The sooner you commit to obtaining your own love, happiness, interest, and preservation, the sooner the hurt, confusion, exhaustion, and pain you felt was inflicted by others will begin to subside.
No one will love you more than you.
No one can love you more than you.
No one can MAKE you happy.
No one can make you happier than you have made yourself.
Mes amies, today and every day is meant for loving you.
Ciao for now 💋
📸 Market in Cairo, Egypt.