When will we eat cake? Or even celebrate?
I never celebrate myself. To further confirm that statement, I didn’t have a birthday party until I was trente, merci beaoucoup Natalie, I will never forget that you did that pour moi. As not to confuse or mislead anyone, I certainly treat myself i.e. a room filled with designer pieces. But I have such a difficult time patting myself on the back (which is much more affordable than Louis Vuitton luggage.)
With every milestone I reach I vow to celebrate myself. Instead, I set the bar higher as to when I will finally do so.
While there is absolutely nothing wrong with ambition, the issue I am currently battling is when will I enjoy what I have accomplished?
For the sake of word count and your attention span I will only reflect on the last five years or so of my life.
In 2014 when I graduated with my troisième degree (Public Health and Safety with a minor in French) I told myself that I would allow time for rest and mental regrouping. The years of late nights and early mornings while taking dix-huit credits as a single working mom to a special needs child had certainly taken its toll. I also swore to do the unthinkable, I would celebrate myself! I did the exact opposite. I accepted a full-time position in one of the most highly political offices in the Department.
I can’t begin to articulate the plethora of emotions I felt. I hadn’t just secured a job, I had secured premium insurance benefits that would grant mon fil the best medical specialist to treat his (to date) incurable disease. I wanted to tell the world! Of course I didn’t, I set my eyes on getting a promotion in which I would then praise myself beyond belief. Volunteering for extra assignments, enrolling in non-required training, and working my petit derriere off, I got the promotion. It was now time to enjoy the fruits of my labor. But then I thought, I don’t want to celebrate in my current living situation.
My son and I deserve a home.
I am the première person in my immediate family to become a homeowner. I should’ve yelled off of the roof tops but instead I set my eyes on a new position, with a new agency. Apres quatre ans of courtship and well-crafted guidance from mentors I got an offer letter from the agency of my dreams! It’s only natural to assume that I would have finally been at a place of utter contentment.
Not at all.
Brief recap, in a cinq ans span avec la grâce of God and the unwavering support of mon fils grandmeres, I rose from an intern unable to afford lunch downtown DC to a salaire à six chiffres. I have YET to take a moment to say, “job well done!” Had a friend or loved one looked both ways while crossing the street, I would immediately pop bottles of Clicquot to the their success. Had a friend or loved one not looked both ways while crossing the street and had a brush with death, I would also pop bottles of Clicquot, to celebrate their life of course. I guess it’s safe to say I’m always searching for a reason to pop bottles of Clicquot.
Last night while scrolling through my site and having the biggest solo pity party about the progress of my blog, I realized that I was scrolling. Meaning I had published enough content to require scrolling. I suddenly felt something I’d never experienced before. I called and shared these feelings with a dear friend and was baffled when I was informed that those feelings were in fact pride and satisfaction.
Is this what I’ve been missing out on?
At that moment, I logged back onto my blog and began to scroll with new rose colored lenses. Instead of seeing what I had not accomplished, I saw everything that I did.
It fells AHHH-MAAA-ZINGGG!
This entry marks blog number dix-sept and I am soooooo proud of myself. The number dix-sept is near and dear to me for more reasons than one. At the age of dix-sept, I packed my Anne Klein luggage and left the trailer park community I’d lived in for quatre ans. Nauseated and nervous I boarded a plane for the very first time and headed west, to Seattle to be exact. It was in that city that I experienced life changing events that have shaped the woman I am today.
Cappuccinos & Consignment has served as more than stickers in my calendar (although my blog stickers are really cute.) Blogging has been a therapeutic release when all else around me seems to be spiraling out of control. Blogging has also provided me the opportunity to connect with people I have known for years on a much deeper level.
From this point on I will celebrate my accomplishments, attempts and lessons learned. I will celebrate and cherish where I am now professionally and personally. From this moment on, I will do my absolute best to not discount my triumphs grande or petit. Because every attempt that is made to put me closer to where I want to be deserves cake and/or Clicquot!
Do you feel like you’re never done? As if you can never take a moment and congratulate yourself because it is time to move on to the next?
I challenge you to name one thing that you are going to celebrate today.