Shopaholic, oui?

Je m’appelle Jessie, et j’ai un probleme?

Is it truly a problem if you’ve admitted that you have one?

I am 100% aware of my “problem.” 

My obsessions with things run deep, very deep.

To depths that I have over and under psychoanalyzed myself.

His face is PRICELESS!
Louis Vuitton avec mon fil

I am wholeheartedly aware that my desire for things, more importantly the “finer” things are due to my childhood.  In an early post Securing the Bags, While Securing THE Bag I shared a very small glimpse  into my childhood.   

One morning while having a cappuccino with my AHHHH-MAAAA-ZINGGGG mentor, she shared with me that she is going a year without shopping for anything but undergarments and toiletries. 

As she uttered the words I suddenly felt faint.  TRULY! Now I’ve “heard” that I can be jus un petit dramatic <insert eyeroll emoji at my husband…mom…brother…niece…coworker(s)…UPS guy…online customer service rep at Kate Spade, barista a Pret-A-Manger…to name a few> but I felt something unsettling. 

At that moment, I began to wonder could I go UN JOUR without buying anything?

I challenged myself and I did it! I made it un jour without purchasing anything (nonfood related.)  So, I pushed it.  I made it deux jours, then trois jours, and surprisingly QUATRE jours! By day cinq, I felt accomplished, yet a bit off balance.  If I can recall, I think I began to have the shakes. Ok, I’m being dramatic. See, I own my issues.   So, I made a purchase.  Admittedly the purchase was so trivial and insignificant. A pair of earrings from H&M, that I still haven’t worn (does any want a pair of faux-pearl earrings?) But swiping my card, released something in me.  I felt lighter.

When I think of me, I don’t think of a shopaholic.

Also me leaving the house for a cappuccino only to return with furs.

When I picture a shopaholic, I envision Rebecca.  You know…Rebecca, Rebecca (me saying her name twice will CERTAINLY ensure that you remember her) from Sophie Kinsella’s book “Confessions of a Shopaholic” (it should’ve been a required reading the summer of 2003.) I envision the person who takes out loans, overdraft their account(s) and continue to feed their addiction with credit or funds that they do not or will not have in the foreseeable future.

I am not that person.

I have an excellent credit score, zero credit card debt, a home, investments, a GORGEOUS penny in all savings account(s), an IRA, a separate savings and college saving account pour mon fil and I annually max out my 401k contributions. I do have student loan <insert eye roll at Sallie Mae.>  I list those things without an oz of boast.  Merely stating my reality and patting myself TREMENDOUSLY on the back.  I work/ed HARD! So hard that I’m in awe at how far I have come. 

To me, those are NOT the attributes of a shopaholic.

I’ve heard and felt the gamut.  “You (I) shop to fill a void.” “You (I) shop to seek validation.” “You (I) shop to cover an insecurity.” 

As I type, I’m questioning if I am making this a bigger deal than it has to be. 

Am I simply shopping because I can, and I want to?

Maison Moschino, Milan

Why as women (I’m not disregarding men, I can only speak for women, well actually I can only speak for myself…speaking of which, does any men besides my husband read this blog?) do we constantly feel the need to diagnose or find a problem in ourselves?

*deep breath*

Ok, I’m back. 

For the month of May, I am challenging myself to not purchase any clothing or accessory.  Not because I need to, but because I really don’t have anything else planned this month <insert shoulder shrug emoji.>

For accountability sake, I will provide weekly updates via my instagram @cappuccinosandconsignment

What does a shopaholic “look” like to you?

After reading this post, do you feel that I am in denial? *Note all comments are filtered so if you say yes, I simply wont post it! I kid, I kid! I enjoy constructive criticism.   

Lastly, have you made poor financial decisions when shopping?

I’d love to create a judge-free space here. 

I’ve stated multiple times on my personal Instagram, I do not have all of the financial answers and I certainly have not always made the best financial decisions.  However, je suis PLUS than open to share what I have done to make the progress that I have. 

Ciao for now!

6 Comments

  1. As a personal finance expert who has been in the industry over a decade, I feel confident and credentialed enough to BOLDLY state that you do NOT have a shopping addiction. The fact that you are MAXING OUT 401(K) contributions (which is on another level from maxing out IRA contributions), own a home and multiple investments…chile I’m gonna quote my mom: “You can’t take it with you!” You’ve worked this hard and this long to protect your future (done!) AND to create a life worth living (done & done)!
    Let no man, woman, child, or UPS man guilt you for enjoying what you have built. You have sacrificed in secret to be able to enjoy the things that YOU hold dear.

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    1. IT IS OFFICIAL! My shopping hiatus has ended! Suze Orman has spoken! I totally agree. While I semi live by #yolo we must enjoy life while we’re living it, within reason. It’s such a Puritanical approach to deny ourselves of everything. Its about balance. If you want the $6 cappuccino, go for it! Just be certain to pack your lunch a few days a week. You made another valid point. We CANNOT take it with us. The irony of it all, whomever inherits the coins will CERTAINLY live their best life.

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  2. I have been told that I have a problem when friends come over and see my closet, especially if they see something with the tag still on lol. But I like to be prepared, and its hard to find things that fit so when I find it, even if I don’t have anywhere to go, I buy it. Better to have it so when the event comes i’m not running from store to store losing my mind stressing over finding an outfit.

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