Je m’appelle Jessie, et j’ai un probleme?
Is it truly a problem if you’ve admitted that you have one?
I am 100% aware of my “problem.”
My obsessions with things run deep, very deep.
To depths that I have over and under psychoanalyzed myself.
I am wholeheartedly aware that my desire for things, more importantly the “finer” things are due to my childhood. In an early post “Securing the Bags, While Securing THE Bag” I shared a very small glimpse into my childhood.
One morning while having a cappuccino with my AHHHH-MAAAA-ZINGGGG mentor, she shared with me that she is going a year without shopping for anything but undergarments and toiletries.
As she uttered the words I suddenly felt faint. TRULY! Now I’ve “heard” that I can be jus un petit dramatic <insert eyeroll emoji at my husband…mom…brother…niece…coworker(s)…UPS guy…online customer service rep at Hermes, barista a Pret-A-Manger…to name a few> but I felt something unsettling.
At that moment, I began to wonder could I go UN JOUR without buying anything?
I challenged myself and I did it! I made it un jour without purchasing anything (nonfood related.) So, I pushed it. I made it deux jours, then trois jours, and surprisingly QUATRE jours! By day cinq, I felt accomplished, yet a bit off balance.
If I can recall, I think I began to have the shakes.
Ok, I’m being dramatic. See, I own my issues.
So, I made a purchase. Admittedly the purchase was so trivial and insignificant. A pair of earrings from H&M, that I still haven’t worn (does any want a pair of faux-pearl earrings?) But swiping my card, released something in me. I felt lighter.
When I picture a shopaholic, I envision Rebecca. You know…Rebecca, Rebecca (me saying her name twice will CERTAINLY ensure that you remember her) from Sophie Kinsella’s book “Confessions of a Shopaholic” (it should’ve been a required reading the summer of 2003.)
I envision the person who takes out loans, overdraft their account(s) and continue to feed their addiction with credit or funds that they do not or will not have in the foreseeable future.
I have an excellent credit score, zero credit card debt, a home, investments, a GORGEOUS penny in all savings account(s), an IRA, a separate savings and college saving account pour mon fil and I annually max out my 401k contributions.
I list those things without an oz of boast. Merely stating my reality and patting myself TREMENDOUSLY on the back. I work/ed HARD!
So hard that I’m in awe at how far I have come.
To me, those are NOT the attributes of a shopaholic.
I’ve heard and felt the gamut. “You (I) shop to fill a void.” “You (I) shop to seek validation.” “You (I) shop to cover an insecurity.”
As I type, I’m questioning if I am making this a bigger deal than it has to be.
Am I simply shopping because I can, and I want to?
Why as women (I’m not disregarding men, I can only speak for women, well actually I can only speak for myself…speaking of which, does any men besides my husband read this blog?) do we constantly feel the need to diagnose or find a problem in ourselves?
Ok, I’m back.
For the month of May, I am challenging myself to not purchase any clothing or accessory. Not because I need to, but because I really don’t have anything else planned this month <insert shoulder shrug emoji.>
For accountability sake, I will provide weekly updates via my instagram @cappuccinosandconsignment.
What does a shopaholic “look” like to you?
After reading this post, do you feel that I am in denial? *Note all comments are filtered so if you say yes, I simply wont post it! I kid, I kid! I enjoy constructive criticism.
Lastly, have you made poor financial decisions when shopping?
I’d love to create a judge-free space here.
I’ve stated multiple times on my personal Instagram, I do not have all of the financial answers and I certainly have not always made the best financial decisions. However, je suis PLUS than open to share what I have done to make the progress that I have.
Ciao for now!